2007 was an interesting year for me personally. I ended a long
term relationship, developed a practice in Bradenton and then
was forced to suddenly leave it, started practicing Nichiren
Daishonin’s Buddhism, came to terms with my inability to
make things turn out the way that I wanted them to and oh yeah
almost met my maker in a morning car accident that left me hanging
upside down by my seatbelt. Don’t know how many of you
have had this experience or one like it but I am here to tell
you there’s not much you can do from that position. It
is the ultimate surrender especially for someone like me who
is used to being in control all the time. Hanging there I was
unable to control much except my thoughts and even that was a
stretch. It was almost like some cosmic force outside of this
dimension said “ok….we told you we were in control…or
did you miss that email????”
Although many people were there to help I have never felt so
alone in my entire existence on this planet. I also had a profound
feeling of gratitude, almost felt like I had been given a grand
wakeup call and thankful I was and am able to answer that call.
Since June I have been unable to exercise which really put a
dent into my lifestyle.
But I have had a lot of time to think. And thinking is just what
I have been doing. I thought and I wondered, so I call 2007 the
year of ending, thinking and wondering.
I think about why we don’t have respect, for ourselves
and others?
I wonder how we as humans can turn our backs on other suffering
human’s right here in our own backyard, not to mention
all over the world? I think about why we can’t just all
get along? I wonder why there are so many among us who claim
superiority for a religious belief, financial status or just
because they might be greener than their neighbor? I think why
are certain corporations are run they way they are? I wonder
why the government isn’t run more like a corporation? I
think why do people lie, to themselves and each other? I wonder
why our federal congress people and senators don’t have
to pay into social security or Medicare and why they have their
own private healthcare and why they are paid a salary even after
their deaths?
I wonder why our leaders don’t recognize the overwhelming
need that Americans have for healthcare? And if some do why can’t
they do anything about it? I wonder about global warming, should
I be as scared as I am or should I just get up at midnight and
stand in line at circuit city on Black Friday?
I thought so much that my head hurt, just from
thinking not the accident.
Then I had an epiphany, of course one does never experience this
kind of enlightenment without first a descent into darkness.
I experienced an overwhelming sadness that encompassed everything
and everyone I came into contact with. I couldn’t stop
thinking and feeling the sadness that accompanies the thought………we
just don’t get it……….
Most people are stuck in their own dramas not seeing even the
border of the bigger picture. A year like 2007 theoretically
a year of endings per its numerology of 9, helped me see.
Are we all just stuck in the Matrix? Is there a glitch that must
be programmed out or are we the glitch? When do we as a whole
community begin to realize that it all can come to an end in
the matter of a split second?
When do we begin to appreciate the natural world we live in and
the incredible
miracle that our bodies are?
When do we figure out that all it is really about is giving and
receiving love and respect for all living things? When will
we truly be grateful for the air
that we breathe and the warm sun that we feel on our skin?
Is it only on Sunday morning, Saturday evenings or sunrise and
sunset that we give thanks and pray for our neighbors as well
as ourselves?
When do we begin to understand that we are all here to become
aware of our connectedness? Each and every one of us is connected
to each other at a level that we don’t
even realize.
If that is true then why are we focused on our differences instead of that connection?
Ask yourself this question; What are you grateful for and how
do you show it? Then monitor your thinking and your behavior
to see if you are in denial or truly
appreciating every moment of your life?
Living in the now moment has never meant so much to me as it
does now in this very moment. Because right now in this moment
there is nothing wrong, I am not
worried about future or regretting the past.
I am just living right now in this moment.
In appreciation of just being.
Don’t wait for the Universe to turn you upside down to start being grateful.
Welcome 2008 as a year of new beginnings. Take control of your thoughts, words
and actions. Prove your appreciation for life and live in the now moment. Don’t
hold back, take risks and live because that is why we are here. And we just never
know what the next moment will hold.
I wish you every happiness and a blessed 2008.
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